Hi Sandra,

It should be just as legal for the two of you to live together in the house after your divorce as it would have been for the two of you to live there together before you were married in the first place.

Now that you are divorced, you are no longer legally related by blood or marriage. Unless there is some enforceable local ordinance…[Read more]

Hi Jolo,

Yours is an excellent question — actually a series of questions — that raise several different issues.

First, did your employer, the private care agency, have the right to reassign you to care for another of its clients rather than the one you expected to work for?

The answer to that question is likely “yes.”  Absent an agreement to…[Read more]

Put hot and cold compresses under the eyes. Ice also helps.

It depends on several factors, primarily the extent and type of services you do for the individual (i.e., cooking, laundry, transportation, reading, light housekeeping, bathing, dressing, grocery shopping, paying bills), geographic location and whether the person will need ongoing care. A live-in would expect a two-hour break a day and 6 hours of…[Read more]

Walking around, especially parks and with close friends or family members is stimulating. Even a trip to the grocery store will lift your mother-in-law’s spirits. Swimming in a lap lane will be beneficial, if it is possible your mother-in-law does not have to share the lane. If your mother-in-law has not completely lost her hearing, try…[Read more]

A caretaker in the home of a senior — especially a woman — who has dementia and lashes out in rage or frustration frequently will not stay long in the home. At this point, the senior really is better off in an skilled nursing facility that has units specializing in dementia care.

One suggestion would be to respectfully say: “If you are sick, we are going to call a doctor and schedule an appointment. He will give us a bill for that appointment. So are you really, really sick?” If she responds, yes, make that call. If not, tell her to get up (assuming that is possible). Be always positive in your conversation. Respect…[Read more]

Primarily change the individual’s position every 1 to 2 hours while laying down. There is also a prescription cream that can be applied. Check with the doctor.

First, you want to engage the senior; perhaps opening the conversation with subjects that s/he really like or that are important to him or her. Secondly, be warm and inviting in your speaking voice; sit and hold his or her hand while talking. The key is finding the topic(s) that interest the senior and use that as a springboard. Expect that there…[Read more]