Society devotes substantial resources to helping working mothers find a work-life balance as they transition between their family obligations and the workforce. But what about the staggering 37 million unpaid eldercare providers in the United States, a majority of whom are women? When they transition into family caregiving — often whilst balancing work, children and life — these women have almost no resources to help with advice, support or finances.

It’s a quickly growing issue —11,000 people in the United States turn 65 every day, and  AARP reports that the United States job market will need to add an additional 700,000 home health and personal care aides each year for the next decade to keep up with rising demand. Unfortunately, AARP predicts that the current shortage of caregivers will worsen, leaving it to unpaid family members to fill that role.

Cost of Care Not Always a Factor

Family caregivers aren’t necessarily taking on the caregiver role because they can’t afford outside help, although this can be part of the problem. Often, elderly parents refuse outside care, forcing family members — mainly daughters — to step up and help out.

So while a daughter might have the means to hire outside help, a sick parent’s wellbeing often forces her into caregiving, and thus, to cut back on her own career. And what we’re seeing today is that women who could afford outside care before becoming caregivers, find themselves struggling to get by as caregivers.

By taking on the load of daily chores, but also the mental and physical wellbeing of their parent, daughters cut back at work and it shows in their paychecks.

Can Society Later Support Women Who Drop Out Now?

Anne Tumlinson, a health care policy analyst, shared some insight on the plight of working daughters as opposed to working mothers to The Atlantic. “As a society we are organized reasonably well to support parents. If you have enough money you can get high-quality day care. There are schools that educate your child for a better part of the day. But even if you have the money to pay for a caregiver, even when they are the Mary Poppins for the elderly, it doesn’t mean your parents want them. Eldercare requires a high amount of emotional engagement that only a family member can provide. It’s not a situation where economically advantaged women are spared. I know lots of very accomplished women with lots of degrees who have dropped out.”

This poses a major issue not only for working daughters and their families, but the country as a whole. As Liz O’Donnell points out in her Atlantic piece, how will the economy hold up with an increasing number of women dropping out of their mid, and senior-level positions? And if these women lose out on earning potential, or can’t get back into the workforce at all, can our social security system support them adequately?

Support Lacking for Working Daughters

Amidst the bigger picture, looking at the individuals who are transitioning and even struggling as caregivers shows how little resources they have for support. Shelley Boyle, who spoke to the Atlantic about her situation after her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, explains how her life now feels limited: “Here I was forging a career and building a life and now I have to spend 20 to 30 hours on top of my full time job to take care of her….The biggest issue is I am now living hand-to-mouth. I am just getting by and I am not able to put money away for a rainy day.”

There are endless blogs, websites and support systems for working mothers to discuss the trials and tribulations of their transition. But when it comes to working daughters, not so much. And as Tumlinson explains to The Atlantic, that can be extremely difficult during this life changing time. “Caring for an aging parent is a much more significant life passage than we give it credit for being. When you are caring for a child, it doesn’t threaten your identity. Because that’s what parents do. But when you are a daughter, you are cared for. You turn to your parents for refuge. When they seek refuge from you it shakes your identity.”

The United States hasn’t made life for working mothers perfect. There’s still unpaid maternity leave and the wage gap. But the fact that we talk about these issues in the open is helping propel change and provide support for women going through it. So, do you agree that working daughters need to see the same kind of discussion around their needs? Let us know in the comments below, and please share this article with your friends who might also be going through the same struggles.

(This article was reviewed October, 2024 since it originally published March, 2017.)