Yes, caregiving is a struggle, but beyond the squabbles, the endless work, the negative emotions, the lack of time for yourself — what you are doing is awesome! Remind yourself daily!
So often we focus on the problems associated with caregiving. After all, problems need solving. But in order to live each day with a positive spirit, we all need to count our blessings and remember always that we’re doing a really good thing.
A Caregiver is Not a Shallow Person
Your life is a demonstration that love often is a sacrifice. You love deeply. You don’t throw those you love away or put them on the back burner because they are broken. You jump in. You do what needs doing. You count the cost and do it anyway. You just keep on loving in spite of everything. You are a giver.
You Are a Warrior
You are willing to fight for those you love. Sometimes you have to fight others you love to get what’s needed. Even when you’d like to throw the covers over your head and sleep for a week or run away to a deserted island — you get up. You do your best. Sometimes it really hurts. It’s not easy to see someone who was so capable lose ground. You remember who they are and what they mean to you. You hold onto all the good and throw the bad out with the bath water.
You See Beyond Tomorrow
There will be time for grief — you know that. Today you have your loved one with you at least in body if not in mind. You count each day as a gift even when life is hard to take. You find a way to laugh and to share a joy or two each day. You say your prayers and ask for strength to continue to do what needs doing.
Living the Love of Giving
In a me, me, me world you’re living your legacy. You will not tolerate the guilt that some may have to experience. All who know you may miss the time you usually have for them, but they know who you are more than ever before. There is no doubt of the depth of your love. Your friends, your family and especially your children will remember your sacrifices and the joy you take in giving until it hurts.
You Do It For the Memories
You remember the sacrifices of your loved ones. You think about how many times they picked you up from a fall. Those memories of their acts of love are what gets you through it all. The help with homework, the teaching moments they took the time to use on you, the worry, the tears, the awesome good times. All these things you remember and cherish.
The Future
You think about your own mortality. You do your best to “walk a mile” in your loved ones’ moccasins. You hope that your own will someday be there for you. You hug a little tighter. You say “I love you” more often. You take the time to say what’s in your heart because you know today is all we have.
Don’t ever forget that what you are doing is the ultimate act of kindness and love. You are a very special person. Each morning when you look in the mirror, remind yourself just how truly loving you are.
(This article has been reviewed July 2024 since it originally published in May 2017.)