When Linda’s father proudly told her he had “finally found a way to double his savings,” her stomach sank. The opportunity involved wiring money overseas to secure a “guaranteed” investment recommended by someone he had met online. To him, it felt exciting — a reward for a lifetime of careful saving. To her, it sounded like a scam.
Stories like this are increasingly common. Older Americans control tens of trillions of dollars in assets, amounting to 70% of all wealth in the United States. Their ready access to assets makes them prime targets for financial exploitation. Adult children and relatives are often the first to sense when something is wrong, but stepping in can feel awkward or even disrespectful — especially when the parent has always managed money independently.
Experts say preventing financial harm isn’t about taking over. It’s about staying engaged, asking the right questions, and knowing when to bring in help.
Why Older Adults Are Vulnerable
Financial decision-making changes over time. Younger adults lack experience; older adults may face subtle cognitive changes, health challenges, or isolation. Being young or old does not in itself make a person incapable of managing money, but the changes that accompany aging might make older adults more susceptible to pressure, deception, or artful sales pitches.
Scammers exploit trust, urgency, and emotion. Romance scams, fake checks, impostors claiming to be government agencies, and “once-in-a-lifetime” investments are among the most common tactics. What makes these schemes especially dangerous is that they often look legitimate — complete with official-looking documents, websites, and even phone numbers. The harm goes beyond lost money. According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, financial exploitation is associated with anxiety, depression, declining physical health, and a loss of confidence that can permanently alter an older person’s independence.
Start With Empathy, Not Accusation
Adult children are often the first to suspect that a scammer is taking advantage of their parent. When you notice something concerning, resist the urge to correct or confront.
Saying “You’re being scammed” or “This makes no sense” can shut down communication instantly. Instead, approach the conversation with curiosity and respect. Ask questions like: “What appealed to you about this?” “What are you hoping it will accomplish?” “How did you hear about it?”
Listening first signals respect and keeps the door open. It also gives you time to do your own research before forming conclusions.
Do the Homework Together
Before challenging a financial decision, gather facts. Many scams unravel quickly under basic scrutiny. The SEC’s Investment Adviser Public Disclosure database lets you verify whether an investment adviser is registered. FINRA BrokerCheck can confirm a broker’s credentials and reveal any disciplinary history. Your state’s securities regulator — findable through the North American Securities Administrators Association — can tell you whether a company is licensed to do business.
Framing this as a shared learning process — “Let’s both take a closer look” — helps avoid power struggles. It also reinforces the idea that caution is wise, not embarrassing.
Watch for Red Flags
Certain warning signs should always prompt a pause:
- Promises of guaranteed or unusually high returns
- Pressure to act quickly or secretly
- Requests to wire money, buy gift cards, or send cryptocurrency
- Instructions to deposit a check and send part of it elsewhere
- Claims that “banks don’t understand” or “this is just between us”
If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
Use a Third Party When Needed
Sometimes advice lands better when it doesn’t come from family. A trusted financial adviser, accountant, attorney, or banker can serve as a neutral voice. If parents don’t have an investment adviser, children can offer to run the potential investment past their own adviser.
An adult child might say, “My adviser can at least tell me whether he’s heard of this company. He’s up to date on legitimate investment opportunities. It will be a real red flag if this one is flying under his radar.”
Shifting the focus away from family dynamics can preserve relationships while still protecting assets.
When Financial Trouble Signals Something More
Sometimes the issue isn’t a single bad decision. With a bit of gentle probing, adult children may find that the poor choice was part of a pattern that suggests something is amiss.
Repeated money mistakes may point to underlying health issues. Missed bills, duplicate charitable donations, forgotten transactions, or increased susceptibility to phone scams can be early signs of cognitive decline.
If concerns persist, consider suggesting a cognitive screening as part of a routine medical visit. The National Institute on Aging and the Alzheimer’s Association offer guidance on early detection and assessment. Framing it as preventive — like checking blood pressure or vision — can reduce stigma. If possible, work with clinicians experienced in caring for older adults.
Practical Ways to Reduce Risk
You don’t need to take control to offer protection. Small steps can make a big difference:
- Set up account alerts for large withdrawals or unusual transfers
- Add a trusted contact to bank and investment accounts
- Limit daily withdrawal amounts where appropriate
- Allow family members to monitor accounts without giving them control
- Freeze credit reports to prevent unauthorized accounts · Report suspected fraud to the Federal Trade Commission or the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center · Explore scam-awareness resources like AARP’s Fraud Watch Network
Most importantly, keep the conversation going. Financial protection isn’t a one-time discussion — it’s an ongoing relationship. Ideally, adult children can build trust with their parents over time so that parents will come to them for advice before pulling the trigger on a costly scam.
Respect Independence While Offering Support
For many older adults, money represents autonomy, dignity, and identity. Protecting requires children to honor those values, not undermine them. Shielding mom and dad from poor financial decisions will involve patience, empathy and a plan (and sometimes outside help).
The goal isn’t to take over — it’s to stand beside them, helping them navigate an increasingly complex financial world with confidence and safety intact.
When handled thoughtfully, these conversations can strengthen trust, preserve independence, and prevent losses that are far more costly than money alone.