Selfish, inconsiderate, and uncompromising MIL

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    The wake-up call has arrived.

    My wife’s mother just had yet another car accident after yet another instance of her ignoring our requests to call somebody for assistance. This time it was the gas bill, the payment of which absolutely had to be executed in person two days before the deadline. She could have paid it online, she could have sent it in the mail, she could have asked us to help her take of it, but no, she had to yet again risk her safety and the safety of others after countless requests for her not to do so.

    I wish I could say that she is just a sweet lady who’s slowly losing her ability to make rational decisions, but nothing could be further from the truth. She has always been this way. Nothing has changed in the past 26 years that I’ve known her. If anything, it becomes worse as each year goes by.

    The purpose of this message is not to bore you with the unbearable details describing the hell through which this woman has put her children, her spouses, her children’s spouses, her extended family, her co-workers, her “friends” (all of which have run for the hills), and pretty much anybody that is unlucky enough to get drawn into her world. The purpose is to try to figure out just what to do with this terrible person when the time comes when she is unable to take care of herself any longer.

    She refuses to discuss hiring a live-in caretaker or a part-time caretaker. She refuses to discuss hiring someone to clean her house or drive her to Kroger to pick up a Click-it order. On top of that, any service provider that she hires for necessities like pool and lawn care is usually out of there after a few months (She’s burned through 6 pool services so far). Eventually, they just can’t take it any longer…the money just isn’t worth the stress and frustration. No, the only option in her mind is for her two children and their families to stop living their lives for her and serve her every need at her beck and call, all whilst being unceasingly verbally abused, pestered, ridiculed, or forced to listen to her opinions regarding the latest most horrible and tragic event in the news cycle (and getting verbally attacked if you a) don’t engage or b) express a dissenting opinion). Yes, it’s really like that. Foot-stomping, screaming, and being kicked out on Christmas for not putting stuff back on the coffee table correctly has been known to happen…more than once.

    So with this recent incident, after my wife nearly threw her back out trying to help her get to the bathroom, it’s now time to figure this out once and for all. The only option is to hire a professional…we just need to figure out exactly how to go about getting this to happen in a way where we won’t go through provider after provider after provider knowing full-well that she is manipulating the situation to get what she really wants…which is for her children to be her slaves and be present to receive all of the abuse and negativity that she can possibly deliver.

    Please share your stories and help us (and I’m sure many others out there in the same situation) figure this out.


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