Aunt living across country, aging rapidly, no family nearby. Any suggestions?

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  • #1043

    caringremotely
    Participant

    What can I do about an 80-year old aunt who lives on the east coast when I live on the west coast. We talk regularly and most of the time she seems okay but sometimes she seems vague and rambles. She has no family near her but when I talk to some of her friends they say they worry about her, that she forgets to pay bills, doesn’t keep appointments and is really going downhill fast. My aunt says she would like to come and visit, maybe even move here but when I try to get her to plan something specific something always gets in the way. What should I do? I could go and visit to assess the situation, but would have to take time off from work. Should I get a power of attorney and work it so I pay her bills? Or should I really get her to move here and leave her friends so I can help take care of her. I need advice.

    #1044

    geriatricmanager
    Participant

    Here are a few things you can work on:
    1. Have her go to a doctor and get a complete physical and mental health evaluation to see if she is capable of taking care of herself, and talk to the doctor directly to discuss their findings and have them make recommendations.
    2. Hire a Geriatric Care Specialist (also called Aging Life Care Specialist) in your aunt’s area to conduct an assessment of her living conditions. You can find one on http://www.aginglifecare.org.
    3. Go out to visit her to evaluate her and see how realistic it is for her to move. A trial visit with her coming to see you might help you decide how realistic that possibility is.
    4. A power of attorney is a good idea to help her with bill paying; also you could set up on-line bill payments for some bills.

    #1657

    JakeEstrada
    Participant

    She should go to doctor for mental health checkup. She should do as doctor suggests. But remember I doctor says to live in Nursing care Homes then avoid to let her live. Instead find best Assisted Living for her. I can also suggests to live at http://palmcottagesfl.com/  because my mother lives there. she is now very happy there

    #2809

    AnnAngela
    Participant

    <p>I think she needs some sort of help from someone to look after the household. I have noticed that you said  “she forgets to pay bills, doesn’t keep appointments and is really going downhill fast” I think that she may be tensed about getting old and living alone. It is better to hire a household staff, though she is physically fine. If she has someone about the house then she will be less worried. </p>

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by AnnAngela.
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